I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
