I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
