I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
