Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
