he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
