bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
