i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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