we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
