It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize