I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
