Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
