It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
