sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
handjob tips. give me some.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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