I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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