nut hugger
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
