He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have fence marks all over my body
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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