don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
