I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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