Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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