Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
