Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
