i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
