I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize