My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
