Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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