don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Come on in and take your pants off
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