theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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