You really coming over, don't trick.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
