You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just invented taco cereal.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
