why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize