So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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