When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
