This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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