A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
