You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
