it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
