i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
