bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i drank out of a bidet.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
