Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
