the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
