There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
