I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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