I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
