All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
