Moan for me like Helen Keller
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
