and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
