DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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