he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
