We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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