btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
