I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
