I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
