I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
