I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
