A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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