Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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