Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
