PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
