Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
