there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
