Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
