i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
