I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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