All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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